REMLink #9: A Self-Created Wall February 23, 2008

2-23-08

Emotions: Being covert and sneaky, confusion, frustration, scared

I’m downtown and I’m rolling with some gang. I understand there is some type of power hierarchy with the guys around me but its also understood that I’m part of the gang. I don’t recognize anyone but we are about to pick up some money.

And then we suddenly have the money because about six of us start walking away from the scene and down a sidewalk. The guy with the money hands it to me and it feels like it must be about 4 or 5 thousand in bills. Now it is just me and him and no one else.

“Do something good with this money,” I tell him as I hand him back the money. I guess I mean for him to stop ‘gangbanging’ or whatever and change his life.

He walks away from me without saying anything and approaches an elevator. In this moment, it is like the walls around us are gone and I can simply see him, the ground, and the elevator. I can see the elevator coming up from a lower floor and the guy jumps on top of it while its coming up. Suddenly, he is crushed between the elevator and the ceiling.

I immediately tell people around to call an ambulance and I have the feeling he did it on purpose.

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Ghosts are around me, I know it. I’m in the daylight of the woods and I’m trying to get through to the other side. I was in a car but now I’m on foot pushing my grandma in a wheelchair. I keep stopping to clear debris from the path of her wheels and swerving to avoid holes.

After hurrying through the woods, we reach an empty room. Where there is supposed to be a door, a door I remember creating, someone has painted it over and there is only a wall. I turn to explain to my grandma that I have to destroy the wall.

She has turned into my fiance and I start to kiss her and hold her close. Suddenly, I remember that she is in fact my grandma and I try to pull away! She won’t let me and I struggle to escape.

Dream Analysis: I’ve been watching the HBO show The Wire a bit lately and I think that might explain the beginning of the dream. I’m definitely noticing a recurring theme of close friends dying around me. So far, they are no one I know but the dreams are a bit troubling. The rest of the dream is just another ‘run and escape’ type of dream.