Things have spiraled out of control for me in the past month. I’ve:
-Started a new job
-Had the flu
-Wrote two children’s stories
but the good thing is, I haven’t had any very interesting dreams to even report on. I’ll be back when I get a grip on life. Give me a week.
4-7-08
Emotions: Royal, Confident, Calm
Imagine a gigantic sports stadium, like the Roman Parthenon, yet the middle is completely flooded and only stairs remain. I am a beautiful Queen with long brown hair and my kingdom, the stairs I’m standing on, are being invaded.
I stand near the top of the stairs and watch as four soldiers enter the water and approach my side of the ancient stadium. I don’t fear them because I have a plan: my powerful King is near and I only need to ring a massive bell to summon him.
To distract the approaching soldiers, I project a hologram of myself on the crumbled seats below and walk toward the water. My brother is with me, hiding behind some seats, and I tell him to make noises to coincide with my footsteps to fool the oncoming soldiers.
The plan seems to be working and I signal for the crisis bell to chime. But the sound doesn’t come and I slowly realize one of the soldiers physically stopped the bell from ringing.
“I’m going to die,” I say calmly to myself.
Dream Interpretation: No ideas here, I’ve never dreamed I was a woman before and all the other stuff… just really strange. I did have a dream a few nights ago with a similar setting where I was on the balcony of the bleachers of my old high school gymnasium and I was firing rifle shots at someone below.
March 30, 2008
Emotions: love, excitement, confusion, sadness
I meet her at a party but I can’t see her face. She is a phantom person… a fragmented figure of this dream. After a conversation on the couch, we begin making out. I feel extremely attracted and enamored by the girl. When she leaves that night, I can’t stop thinking about her.
I’m in a car, looking out the window and swimming in the excitement of new love. I’m a little boy in the backseat and as I look out, a fantastic display of fireworks reflect my heightened enthusiasm.
Then, I see my friend Tim and I’m in some type of theater/church lobby. He tells me more about the girl and shows me a tape of her singing. As I watch the T.V. screen, my entire being’s sense of consciousness and purpose turns into an intense feeling of love for the girl.
I stumble through the aisles and seats meanwhile scanning the audience for her.
Now, I’m in another room, its small like a dorm room. She is there and I spew out my raw emotions.
“I know I’m sounding crazy but I am in love with you,” I remember saying.
I’m not sure what happened next but she is suddenly distant from me. She either physically leaves or didn’t like what I had to say but either way… I’m coming down.
Sadly, I walk through a room much like the lobby earlier and pick up a few Easter eggs. While opening the plastic eggs I realize I don’t know why the hell I’m hunting for the eggs.
“What is this, the longest day ever,” I ask right before I am awoken.
Dream interpretation: My fiancé is on a trip somewhere and I’ve been thinking of her a lot. Also last night, a friend of mine, not Tim, was making out on a couch with a girl he met at the party. The emotions in this dream were particularly strong.
3-17-08
Emotions: happy, scared, alarmed, confused, panic, embarrassed
A bunch of my friends are here and I’d like to throw a party. However, I’m in high school again and living with my parents. They are already at my house so I tell them we can hang out at the house for a couple of hours until my parents arrive.
After a while, the party grows and I see my parents coming in the front door. I see the shock on their faces and tell them, “Welcome to the party!”
They are not amused but then out of nowhere, an older woman grabs my mother by the hand and leads her to a more subdued, almost tea-party-social type of area. My mother sits at the table with the aristocratic-looking ladies.
I feel I’m set free for the evening and some friends and I go out on my stairwell to smoke marijuana. We set out on a very long set of rooftops and run to the farthest corner. As I catch up with the group, I realize they are panicking and running back. The police are chasing them.
I carefully my hide pipe under a stairwell and run back to the party. I’m yelling into the window that the cops are here and everyone sort of freezes. A cop suddenly grabs me and I’m being carried off. I see them chasing friends of mine. Then I see my fiancé with my baby and tell myself “Its not worth it,” referring to the drugs and partying.
Instead of being taken to a prison its like I’m in a classroom. I’m in a desk along with about fifty other students/prisoners and we are listening to the professor lecture about something.
Suddenly, the professor tells us that a student has something to say and she comes up to the front of the room. She starts some sort of sales pitch trying to sell us something and students from the class start to imitate her and harass her.
She tries to continue for a while but the whole class is laughing. She looks directly at me and I can’t help but have this huge grin on my face. I feel bad because she seems to be a friend from the party but I can’t hold back the smile. Finally, she gives up.
The professor shows us a movie and then it is lunchtime. The class goes ahead of me and I speak to the professor for a moment to try and get some answers about our situation. Then, I set out to find the cafeteria but I don’t know which way to go in the hall.
“Can you tell me which way the Big Kids went,” I ask a woman in the hall.
She points me to the left and soon I’m in the cafeteria with my friends/prisoners. I sit at the table with them and we discuss what we should do… we have court after lunch.
“I think protocol here is to plead guilty,” I say to the group.
They all look at me seriously and some even ask me if I’m sure. Then the professor, who is now Owen Wilson, sits down and talks to the group. He tells two friends that the police are interested in them about something and then he looks to me and tells me that the police want to know if I witnessed a friend who died.
It seems like we’re working out a plea deal if I don’t tell anyone about how the police accidentally killed someone while they were running from them. I pause and think to myself: I’m not going to do that. I think I’m going to prison and it will be bad but at least this whole ordeal will add some character to my life.
Dream Interpretation: Long one I know. Yes, I have been to many parties when I was younger where we did in fact escape from the police. I feel like this dream might have finally killed that party-part of me. “Its not worth it,” I told myself.
3-15-08
Emotions: Confused, calm, happy, scared, worried
My wedding day was here and I didn’t know how anything would turn out. I went to the wedding having nothing planned but remained completely calm.
Then it was as if I were watching a gigantic show put on by my childhood and currently close friends. People were applauding at my friends walking up the isle, not down, and I applauded too.
At one point, I remember my childhood friend Jim came up the side of everyone and the scene was somewhat strange. No one clapped at his performance so I led the uproarious cheer.
I don’t remember any vows are anything officially wedding-like but I’m suddenly speaking to someone about our wedding.
“I was really stoned,” I whisper to them in a crowd. I explain how else could I make it through my wedding.
———————————
We’d survived the attack but we had to prepare for the next. Only a few days earlier, a huge monster destroyed most of the city. My fiancé and I stayed in a neighbors house that I didn’t recognize. We were all in the basement.
Then it occurred to me that we hadn’t brought supplies for the duration of hiding. My fiancé and I told the group we needed to grab some beer and supplies and they told us we need to hurry.
I looked at the television and the news reported the monster was already nearby. As we walked up the stairs I remember I needed to tell the head-of-household something.
“What’s his name,” I asked my fiancé.
“It’s Brad,” she replies.
I walk back down the stairs quickly and tell him we’re getting beer too. He asks me again to hurry.
Dream Interpretation: My wedding day IS coming up but I’m certainly not stressed about it. It’s a lot of work but this dream seemed like I was in an auditorium watching a performance. Last night, I watched a zombie movie and that might explain the fear found in the second dream.
3-12-08
So this is a new part of this blog. I haven’t had any great dreams lately, probably because I’m so busy, but I thought this would be a great way to further explore these dreams of mine.
First, I’d like to comment that it seems like my more recent dreams lack a level of control. Control of the dream environment is supposed to symbolize and reflect the feeling one has control of their waking life. Maybe since these dreams, I’ve been working harder and have been lacking in dreams due not only to stress but a lack of real meaning.
Also, I had the strangest phenomena the other night: Just as I started to slip off to sleep, I suddenly became aware that my thoughts had drifted into the dream world and I suddenly awoke out of my partial-dream state. This happens all the time but more strangely… as I awoke, I had the sense that I was below the surface of water and coming into the air!
Now… this might be an important discovery considering the symbolism in some recent dreams. In the RL #1, my baby is underwater and seemingly o.k. with it. This might represent how he’s only one years old and hasn’t quite developed the consciousness to be above water.
Then, in a more recent dream, I watch as a man is killing himself by diving into a body of water. Again, he is leaving the conscious world and entering an underwater “unknown” world.
This might be one of the best discoveries of my own dream archetypes ever. In a dream about a year ago, I discovered that the turtle, a symbol in many of my dreams, represented myself. Some day I might post some older dreams, especially if I continue lacking in dreams to post.
Stay tuned for further dreams and explorations.
2-28-08
Emotions: reflective, confused and lost, angry and upset, scared
We have some type of delivery and an old deliveryman and I are in my bathroom going over the bill. We are using my fiancé’s credit card and I’m trying to figure out how much to tip. The deliveryman is telling me to calculate 25% and I sit down with a calculator to figure it out.
I cannot work the calculator; you know how dreams go when you try to type something in a phone or computer. I’m struggling with the calculator and finally come up with some number: $84.21.
The Deliveryman is very nice and is talking to us kindly. When he finally leaves, my fiancé says, “I love him,” and I realize that the man was just like her dad.
——————————————
I’m with my parents and brother in a basement in some type of church. In the dream, I think it is a Unitarian Church. We all sit at a round table and my dad and brother are arguing about something and walk away.
I tell my mom I’ll be right back and go to check on them. I find them arguing in a bathroom located under some stairs.
When I try to go back to the table, I am now walking out from the church and in to a big city. As I walk down the street toward where my mom’s car should be, I look back at the Cathedral-like decorations of the church.
I reach the end of the block and realize I must of gone the wrong way. I start walking back toward the church and can’t find my way at all. I turn a corner and think that the area looks a little rough.
Suddenly, people are running my way.
“Get inside the building,” one man yells to a couple of girls.
I hear gunshots and I know it must be a gang fight. I dive behind a building and hide around the corner of where the fighting must be. For some reason, I remember wearing a green shirt.
Then, I start using my phone like it’s a police scanner and I hear a couple of officers talking about an officer dying. They say he’s been in the squad for four years. Suddenly, I am emotional and shoot at the gang member striking him in the neck.
In this part, I see a profile view of the guy as the bullet hits his neck. Now, I am above him looking down at his face. In the bottom corner of my view, there is a row of five bullets like the screen of a videogame.
I red bullet goes in the villains left eye and now there are four bullets in the corner.
Dream Analysis: I was recently in an actual basement of a Unitarian Church. When I grew up, the church my family went to had a bathroom like that under some stairs. Even more gang fighting… I have no idea. I haven’t watched The Wire in weeks but I am certainly seeing some developing themes here.
2-23-08
Emotions: Being covert and sneaky, confusion, frustration, scared
I’m downtown and I’m rolling with some gang. I understand there is some type of power hierarchy with the guys around me but its also understood that I’m part of the gang. I don’t recognize anyone but we are about to pick up some money.
And then we suddenly have the money because about six of us start walking away from the scene and down a sidewalk. The guy with the money hands it to me and it feels like it must be about 4 or 5 thousand in bills. Now it is just me and him and no one else.
“Do something good with this money,” I tell him as I hand him back the money. I guess I mean for him to stop ‘gangbanging’ or whatever and change his life.
He walks away from me without saying anything and approaches an elevator. In this moment, it is like the walls around us are gone and I can simply see him, the ground, and the elevator. I can see the elevator coming up from a lower floor and the guy jumps on top of it while its coming up. Suddenly, he is crushed between the elevator and the ceiling.
I immediately tell people around to call an ambulance and I have the feeling he did it on purpose.
————————-
Ghosts are around me, I know it. I’m in the daylight of the woods and I’m trying to get through to the other side. I was in a car but now I’m on foot pushing my grandma in a wheelchair. I keep stopping to clear debris from the path of her wheels and swerving to avoid holes.
After hurrying through the woods, we reach an empty room. Where there is supposed to be a door, a door I remember creating, someone has painted it over and there is only a wall. I turn to explain to my grandma that I have to destroy the wall.
She has turned into my fiance and I start to kiss her and hold her close. Suddenly, I remember that she is in fact my grandma and I try to pull away! She won’t let me and I struggle to escape.
Dream Analysis: I’ve been watching the HBO show The Wire a bit lately and I think that might explain the beginning of the dream. I’m definitely noticing a recurring theme of close friends dying around me. So far, they are no one I know but the dreams are a bit troubling. The rest of the dream is just another ‘run and escape’ type of dream.
2-21-08
Emotions: A very strange mix of emotions. When I awoke, I felt like this was a sad story that had actually happened before… like someone had lived this story.
In the deep of a jungle, I stand upon a ridge overlooking trees and a path. A fellow soldier shows me how he cleared a lot of foliage using some type of boomerang tool. We are in the jungle to clear new paths and execute any tribal people we come across.
Suddenly, a group of tribal people come up the path to our left. We stop them and a battle ensues. They have spears and blowguns but we have our own weapons. After the short battle, my captain and I are in charge of executing the prisoners.
One of the prisoners is an endearing man that smiles at me with such authenticity that a sense of humanity overwhelms my being. I’m having trouble coming to grips with the fact that I have to kill him. We sit to rest. I speak to my translator.
“Tell him that I like him,” I said to the translator. “Ask him how he wants to die.”
The translator says something to him and he looks at me appreciatively. Still smiling, he pulls out a clear orange pill that he’s had on him. He swallows the pill and bows to me.
The dream switches to where I am now on a boat in a vast ocean looking down at a volleyball game!? I instantly realize that this isn’t what I want to see and look around for the prisoner. I spot him not too far off on a floating dock/island (Same floating island as The Crawling Chicago) and he is laying on his back. I know that he is still alive.
I feel such a strong connection to him at this point that its like my friend is dying. I see my captain approaching from destroying other prisoners and I worry he’ll see the man I shed mercy on.
As if sensing my dilemma, the man suddenly leaps off the island into the ocean. The crashing waves cover him and I can only assume he’s killing himself by drowning. But just before he leaped into the water, I yelled over to him, “Goodbye.”
Dream Analysis: A dream that I have no basis for whatsoever. I am happy to share this story with whoever is reading.
2-20-08
Emotions: Frustration, Confusion
At a computer, I’m trying to print out my flight information but I can’t sign in correctly and nothing will work. I’m getting more and more angry but the computer won’t work and I am running out of time. My mother tries to help and I am yelling at her that I might as well give up because I’ll never make my flight.
Finally, I give up and just head to the airport. I meet up with the group of people I’m flying with in some type of gymnasium. I talk to the leader of our group who says its okay that I don’t have my flight info. and that we’ll work it out. Then, I remember that my brother was supposed to be on the same flight and he had also given up on making the flight. I try and call him.
My mother answers and says that he shouldn’t even try to make it; plus, he doesn’t even want to try.
Dream analysis: This is exactly why I’m writing this dream blog. A theme seems to be taking shape in my dreams with some type of activity with my brother. I currently live about 300 mi from him but we’ll see how this continues.
Also, when I awoke today, a guest at our house told me her husband was having flight troubles coming stateside from Dublin. In order to get on to his flight, he was forced to buy a ticket he would never use to return to Europe just because he had a one-way ticket.
